I Give this Feel-Good Viral Story the SIDE EYE

Many of you may have heard of this story, making its rounds on the Internet. A bride is having a photo shoot, in her wedding gown, in downtown Seattle. A little girl and her mom happen to walk by. The little girl is convinced the bride is the princess of her favorite book, which she also happened to be carrying at the time.


She joins the photo shoot! Warm happy fuzzy feelings all around! And the titular book is… The Woman in White, by Wilkie Collins.

Wait, what?


It’s been a while, but I read that novel in undergrad for a Victorian lit class. The Woman in White was published in 1859, and from what I remember features a murder mystery. Not the fun and quippy kind you’ll get on reruns of Castle either; no, this had some truly monstrous male villains. Even the protagonist had some eye-rolling, true-for-it’s-time opinions about the women characters in the story.

And this is a little girl’s favorite bedtime story?


While I don’t think kids should only be exposed to literature scrubbed of anything but bunnies and rainbows, I also think there’s merit to “age-appropriate” media. Even if The Woman in White contains no overt violence, vulgarity, or sexuality (from what I remember… time for a re-read), they are definitely in the story.

Then again, maybe the little girl’s never actually had the full story read to her. Maybe the parents have pulled a kind of Princess Bride (novel version) con on their daughter, and she just likes the picture on the cover. The world may never know.

Once again, in lieu of creating a compelling think-piece myself, work and school leave me to point people towards another good article:

Why Immersive Theatre Isn’t Just a Fad

6.15.17 pic

I often think immersive theater is the other side of the coin when it comes to modern drama, heads to the electronic literature tails. As much as I love novels and books, we’re moving away from what is now a traditional story medium.

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You

Working full time tends to drain the creative brain, but I’ve got Some Opinions on a certain sci-fi movie adaptation staring Scarlett Johansson, especially since she just recently publicly addressed the casting controversy.

Look for the upcoming “Racial Casting in Hōga vs Hollywood, or, does the new Fullmetal Alchemist adaptation mean I can see Ghost in the Shell guilt-free?”

an honor and an obligation

I don’t drink on weekdays but for the last debate my roommate let me finish her glass of wine in lieu of taking shots. Nobody respects women more than Donald, as perfectly demonstrated when he interrupted Hillary’s allotted time to call her “such a nasty woman.” Twice.

But even more irritating than Trump or his supporters are the people in this country who are capable and available to vote and don’t. “I’m just one person.” “Both candidates are equally bad.” “I have better things to do.”

What’s wrong with everyone! America is a democratic republic turning into a plutocracy. We should be grasping onto any vestiges of genuine democracy while we can. I’ll still be recovery from surgery on November 8, and it was a privilege to fill out and mail in an absentee ballot. Exciting even! I was actively participating in civil service!




Go to Tadich Grill for Seafood and Racism

Something to break up the monotony of nationwide police brutality, here’s one DC restaurant I don’t need to patronize:

Terri [née Buich] Upshaw says she had to choose between family and love (https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/lonnae-oneal-terri-upshaw-says-she-had-to-choose-between-family-and-love/2015/10/23/b2bdecc2-792a-11e5-b9c1-f03c48c96ac2_story.html?tid=pm_lifestyle_pop_b)

How racist do you have to be that you refuse to see your own innocent grandchildren? So if you’re not white or Christian, sure, they’ll take your money, but God forbid there’s a fire in the restaurant because the owners will trample over your heathen body to get out first.

I found it especially telling that no one from the Buich family gave a comment or response. They didn’t even bother to ‘tell their side of the story.’

THE MARTIAN (2015) new trailer yay!

I’m so psyched for this, you have no idea. The newest trailer for The Martian has a level of awesome that goes up to 11 due to the song choice:

I finally read the book about a month ago and started a review that mostly consisted of, 1) it’s amazing!!1! and, 2) what a magnificent F*** YOU to The Cold Equations! But then I forgot the book at my friend’s house and they’re in the middle of reading it and completely hooked so I’ll wait.

I love that they cast Jessica Chastain as Commander Lewis. She’s one of my favorite actresses and even though I saw the trailer before reading the book, I knew I would have pictured her in the role regardless. 100% perfect casting. Matt Damon’s not so bad either!

My Time @ Sweet Briar College

You’re not going to find another heartbroken lament over the closing of Sweet Briar College in this blog.

There’s been a lot of interesting reading in the wake of last week’s announcement that SBC is closing. I’m having the most “fun” reading personal accounts of upcoming students because they come across as hysterical: sobbing about how their dreams are shattered, their faith broken, they’ve been dreaming about attending for years, no other school will ever be as special and hold that magical place in their heart, they cry themselves to sleep every night.

Well, I already had my educational shakedown and breakdown because of Sweet Briar. Now others can have a turn. Guess what; it’s terrible, but it’s not the end of the world. You’ll find another boyfriend school. Go marathon Gilmore Girls and watch how Rory grows up.

I absolutely hated the college application process and only applied to two schools, Radford University and Sweet Briar College. My dad bought me a giant book of colleges and I just went through the list of ones in my state. Radford has a reputation as a party school but it’s also good for teachers and writers. I estimated that I’d probably be accepted, which I was, and if I’d actually gone there I would have been in the same year as my current roommate. We wouldn’t have even needed luck to meet, as her best friend is one of my oldest friends.

SBC, of course, is good at catching a student’s eye. I think my parents were even more enraptured than I was when we visited on a family event day. Small, private, prestigious – it’s an exclusive club, and an all-girls one at that. Sort of like a Harvard for southern belles. I felt like Hermione Granger visiting an American version of Hogwarts, tinged in historical romanticism. The campus is notoriously beautiful. When I pictured my dream college it had old brick buildings, a history steeped in academia, small classes, a place to become An Intellectual, and a community of dedicated professors and fellow students I’d be friends with the rest of my life. Sweet Briar fit all of that.

People scorn Sweet Briar as a finishing school, but it’s nothing as sinister as that. The school is absolutely education-forward; one look at the study abroad programs and STEM programs can tell you that. What I missed on all my starry-eyed visits to campus, and my talks with current students, and interviews with faculty and teachers, is that with a student body well under 1,000, it’s a sorority unto itself. So there was an undercurrent of WASP girls and their pearls, however well-meaning. You’re either in with the clique, or you’re not.

To be absolutely, perfectly frank, I don’t think I was good enough to be accepted as a student in my own right. I was accepted because my parents were willing to pay the almost $50,000 tuition without much financial aid.

I entered Sweet Briar as a freshman the fall of 2004 and in my first semester almost flunked out entirely. A lot of it was my own fault – I have good reading and writing skills but I’m a naturally lazy person. That got me through high school but doesn’t mean a thing in collegiate academia. Some of it was out of my control – I was diagnosed with a lifelong medical condition the summer before starting college. My then-doctor put me on strong medication that takes months to adjust to, and I had to deal with food poisoning symptoms and throwing up blood.

Mostly, because I’m an introvert, I had a very hard time adjusting. It wasn’t about homesickness – I’m just not a joiner. Sweet Briar is a community that I lived in but never joined, and the college was all about community. So I suffered. I would show up at the beginning of the semester for clubs or volunteer work but wouldn’t stay because I never connected with anyone or anything. When finals creeped in and I had to actually work for a good grade, I didn’t have the time or energy for extracurriculars and I just stopped showing up. I didn’t feel any joy or camaraderie participating in any of the school traditions – sing a song, paint a rock, whatever. I thought they were dumb.

I also didn’t realized how secluded the college was. This particular quote from the college president is showing up in a lot of online articles, and it speaks for itself: “We are 30 minutes from a Starbucks.” Freshman weren’t allowed cars when I attended, and I felt trapped. Introverts like to use the party example – we leave after only a few hours to avoid being overloaded and frustrated. Being alone recharges us, and we can keep being social in general. Imagine being stuck at a party for months at a time. Even with better study skills I didn’t fare any better in my second semester.

There were plenty of other things I flat out did not like. I hated being forced to participate in those stupid ‘get-to-know-everyone’ orientation games at the beginning of the semester. (And why did we have guys from the nearby all-men college there?! What happened to an all-female space, free from co-ed intimidations and biases, meant to build up our confidence and our voices? Nothing like being 18, shy, and forced to play Red Rover with a bunch of strangers.) I didn’t like how such a big deal was made about the honor code only to have my favorite travel mug stolen out of the common kitchen. And to this day I hate the high-level science class I had to take, which I’ve mostly blocked out of my mind to keep my sanity. I mostly remember hours-long physics experiments and something about a learning style where you couldn’t look up the answers, you had to discover it for yourself, because then you would understand it better and remember it longer. What b*******.

I also didn’t like how I would get hand-written notecards, years after leaving without graduating, asking sweetly for alumni donations.

I left Sweet Briar feeling like a complete failure. I genuinely enjoy learning but at the time felt like I had no business pretending to be a college student. Even worse I felt like the most horrible daughter in the world, having wasted her parents’ hard-earned and hard-saved money. I thought I had doomed myself to a future of unforgiving low-wage jobs, and that I deserved to be miserable.

It was a learning experience for me, however negative the entire thing was. I can joke now about how it was better to get sick and later have surgery while “only” in community college. I laugh now because I graduated from the four year school one of my best friends graduated from, and we just missed each other. I have the last laugh, it seems, because I was accepted into graduate school and I start this fall.

It’s definitely a shame that women-only colleges seem to be going the way of the dodo. I think we live in an era of increasingly feminist values, and women-only education is not too conservative or a step backward. Yes, the world is co-ed – I don’t see the problem in taking a break from that to concentrate on a degree.

But in this era of damning student loans and futures uncertain, the price of a college education is more important than ever. By law, only private institutions are allowed to be single sex. According to a report by the Woman’s College Coalition, “As a subset of the private college sector, women’s colleges’ key variables (listed above) have a pattern similar to private, co-ed colleges.”

That problem deserves more thought than, “Girls want to attend schools with boys nowadays.”

Look, I’m not experiencing total schadenfreude – I feel sorry for the current students caught completely unaware, particularly the juniors, who are probably going through hell now that they need to transfer. I feel bad for all the teachers and faculty who will be out of a job and might never professionally recover. There’s a campaign to raise funds and keep the school open, so who knows? Sweet Briar College might live on after all.

But ultimately, here’s what I feel:


The Motion Picture Sountrack

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cue the Violins.”

If your life were a movie, what would its soundtrack be like? What songs, instrumental pieces, and other sound effects would be featured on the official soundtrack album?

Oh, Daily Post. You have combined two of the Lazy Writer’s™ favorite procrastinations: making lists and listening to music. Peanut butter and chocolate to this girl.

One Elle Alison: The Motion Picture Soundtrack
Critics and fans alike both agree that the listings make no sense, but it sure is fun to listen to.

1. I have to get up and do things like a person, and I’m too cool for “Eye of the Tiger”

2. I’m spending way too much time nitpicking over this work project and haven’t started the other one

3. Where is my phone? [Roomie], call my phone

4. I’m reading 524 books at once I started this one 3½ years ago

5. Stand back I’m going to try yoga/swing dancing/fencing/exercising

6. Can’t go to sleep yet, it’s only 3:27 AM, something might happen on the internet

7. 24-hour dog person

8. Forgot to make lunch and don’t have enough $ or time to buy something

9. I’m going to WRITE

10. I spent all my writing time playing spider solitaire and then looking up photos of all the actors in Captain America: The Winter Soldier

11. I will never finish a novel and I will die alone

12. I’m going to pretend I know something about lady makeup nobody interrupt the delusion

13. Break for SCIENCE FICTION in any medium ❤

14. I do occasionally visit with the parentals and younger but no longer little brother

15. Ooh, shiny!